Saturday, March 21, 2009

Just Give Up

Remember that lady who sat on the toilet so long that her skin became stuck to the seat? It was about a year ago. She basically grew around the toilet seat and became one with it. Here is a link to refresh your memory:

Woman's skin grows to toilet

Anyway, ever since that happened, I realized something. Every time one of us sits on a toilet, we are initiating the act of becoming one with it. We are bonding to the toilet, just like that gross lady. The only difference is we get up before the union can run its course. Pretty incredible when you think about it. Our skin cells are trying their darnedest to permanently hook up with that seat.

I especially think about this when I spend too much time on a crossword. I say to myself, "Michael, you better get up. You are starting to become one with the toilet. Let it go." This is by far the best argument for me giving up on a crossword. I'll bet that woman who sat on the toilet for two years was doing a crossword the whole time. She probably said, "Darn it, I'm not getting up until I finish this thing." There was probably an entire corner of the crossword that was proper nouns she wasn't familiar with, and she just couldn't get the thing done. I definitely view her as a cautionary tale in my life. Sometimes the best choice of action is to give up.

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