Saturday, September 26, 2009

Lawnmower Man


When mowing the lawn, sometimes I feel like a jerk for trying to hold to the property line so tightly. Why not help the guy next door and mow his lawn a little here and there? So last week I purposefully broke the straight line and randomly mowed his side. I thought it proved I wasn't such a stickler for this whole "property line" thing, and it also made my neighbor's job easier next time he mowed. He could skip those patches I hit if he wanted to. Well, my neighbor must be some kind of psycho, because he came out yelling at me and telling me to stay in my own yard. So unappreciative. The guy must be territorial I guess. He needs to be on some kind of medication or something.


But seriously, can you imagine the nerve of that guy to yell at me just for veering out of my yard from time to time to mow spots on his lawn? And then he yelled at me a second time just because I continued to do it immediately after he finished yelling the first time. I guess I thought once he saw how resiliently nice I was, he would change his mind on the issue, so I continued veering. But you know what? In the end, I am glad I mowed it that way, because it helped reveal what a quack my neighbor is.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'm on a Boat


It is a scientific fact that every 6 seconds, some white dudes on a cruise ship or ski boat or some other floating vehicle somewhere are singing the SNL song "I"m on a boat!", and they think it is hilarious.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Born To Roam


According to this article, wolf hunting is now legal in America. Awesome, I no longer have to hide my hobby! If only wolf fighting were also legalized, illegal activities would only occupy 45% of my free time. I really want to get back down to 45%. I feel like anything above that is setting a bad example.