Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Magazines and Doctors


In a perfect world, the doctor would walk in right after you finished that magazine article you were reading. I hate being cut off before I am done. I want to know if that guy got convicted or if that researcher ever found that artifact or if that football player ever got his money back from that slimy agent.

But I also hate waiting. So you would think I would be happier if the doctor came in in the middle of an article as opposed to five minutes later at the end of the article. What the heck is going on in this world? Some things don't make sense. There's no pleasing some people.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Retirement Plans



When I retire, I am going to buy and RV and be a storm chaser. However, rather than going somewhere cliche like Tornado Alley to do the chasing, I plan on chasing storms in the Mojave Desert. What can I say? I like the challenge of being a storm chaser in the desert. I got guts.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Just Get Up


Sometimes I wake up anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours before my regular alarm time because I need to pee badly. Usually, I sit in bed and debate if it is worth getting out of bed to do my business. This usually just wastes time, because I have to get up eventually due to the pain. I don't know why I sit there and think about it. It's not like I've ever regretted getting up and going. Usually, I crawl back in bed real cozy thinking, "Ahhhh, much better."

Unfortunately, my wake-up self has almost no relation to my normal self. When I think about this person, it is not really me; it is another version of me. It is like me in an alternate reality. If only there was a way to cross the barrier and communicate with this person, kind of like how some wish they could give their younger selves advice. If I could talk to this version of me, I would tell him, "Don't debate, just get up and pee. You always end up doing it anyway. And you have NEVER ONCE REGRETTED IT!" If only.