Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Hand-Headed Shea Freaks

Now here's an idea: I think that I will make everyone in my family stop using their hands to pick things up. Instead, we will attempt to use our foreheads. From here on out, from generation to generation, the Shea's will try in vain to pick up things with their foreheads. After a few thousand years, I believe that an arm will evolve out of my descendants' foreheads as an adaptive measure (I know some experts will claim it should take millions of years, but we Sheas are fast evolvers). And I don't even think I need to explain here how cool it would be to have some sort of extremity on your forehead.

I think that after I die I will have my children freeze my head, so that I will be able to witness my forehead-armed offspring once my head is thawed and revived using future thawing-and-reviving techniques. I mean, it's my idea, so it's only fair that I get to see some Hand-Headed Shea Freaks (that's what people will call them, but it will be a term of endearment and a source of great pride)


P. D. Shea said...

I refuse to use my forehead

laura owings said...

Then your line of descendants won't be the Shea Freaks, just Michael's. I don't think I'll teach Shea to use her forehead either, but her crazy Uncle Michael might attempt to influence her.