Will Kick Shins For Hats

When I was a kid, I was always jealous of those cool kids who could bend their hat bills just right. I spent a great deal of time trying to perfect the bill bend. But I would either bend it to a pointed crease, not bend it enough, or bend it unevenly or something like that. If I ever did get it close to looking right, it would look crappy again by the next morning. So I would see dudes with cool looking hats, and I wanted to kick them in the shins and take their hats with their sweet bills. Of course, the problem all along was probably my funky oblong head, but I'd rather point my anger to the elementary/middle school cool crowds with cool hats, because some of those cool guys still deserve a cool kick to their cool shins either way.