Thursday, June 15, 2006

Elevators

If I was ever in charge of wiring elevators, I would switch the "Keep Door Open" and "Close Door" wires so that whichever button you push, the elevator would do the opposite. Man, that would really annoy people. Someone would be like "Hold that elevator," and then they'd see you jamming a button as the door closed. They'd think you were some kind of jerk. And then there'd be the person late for work, frantically trying to push the button to close the door, but instead he just sits there with the door wide open, yelling at it to close. Perfect.

And while we are all thinking about elevators, here is another thing. I was getting on an elevator the other day, and two of the people getting on with me dragged their hands across the sliding door opening. I thought it was funny, because you used to do that on old elevators if more people were getting on. The door would start sliding until it hit something, then it would go back. The hand slide was a preventive measure. But nowadays, elevators use lasers and stuff to sense things getting on. People, you don't have to drag your hands anymore. Let your shackles of hand dragging fall off and just allow the laser to do its job.

1 comment:

Laura Owings said...

You'd really like the elevator in the U of Memphis law school then. On the 2nd floor (also the main floor) the up and down buttons are wired opposite. If the elevator is going down from the 3rd floor to the 1st floor and you want to go up to the 3rd floor, if you push the up button, the elevator will stop for you at the second floor, but you'll have to make the trip down to the 1st floor before going up. And inevitably, while you're on that 1st floor, someone will come along and push the down button on the second floor, and you'll have to stop there again just to get to the 3rd floor. It's so annoying!