Friday, April 21, 2006

Middle Name

If you have two middle names, then you really don't have a middle name. Because to be in the middle, the way I see it, is to be surrounded equally on both sides. However, for each middle name, there will be one name to one side and then two on the other, thus ruining the balance. So, like our former president George Herbert Walker Bush, Herbert would not be the middle name, but the second name from the left. Walker would not be a middle name, but the second name from the right. Which serves these people right, because they are generally pretentious anyhow. I mean who gives their kid two middle names? Is one not good enough for your kid? Is your child too special to be restricted by just haveing three names? Do you just have so much rich family history that one middle name would not do the trick? It wouldn't send enough shout-outs to your relatives? Because if you do think this, then you are a tool, and the joke is on you, because your kid doesn't even have a middle name.

And if someone is even more pretentious and gives their kid five names, well, then that's just not fair, because then they have a middle name plus two just for giggles. At that point, the blue bloods win.

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