Thursday, October 23, 2008

Broad Daylight

You normally hear the term "broad daylight" when something bad has happened. You know, like, "An elderly woman in a Kroger parking lot was slapped in the face and sprayed with butter flavored Pam in her eyes by a teenage assailant in broad daylight today." I don't think this is fair. It gives broad daylight a bad reputation. You know, a lot of good things happen in broad daylight, too. For example: I watered my plants in broad daylight last week. I hugged a child in broad daylight yesterday. I ran over a teenager with my car in broad daylight today, and I am pretty sure he is dead.

Now, I know what you are thinking: running over and killing a teenager is a bad thing that is more in line with the regular usage of "broad daylight." Well, this kid was holding a spray can of Pam, and I am pretty sure he is the one who assailed that old lady. I was a representative of justice today, and if that's not good then I don't know what is.


The Legend said...

I'm glad you got that kid ... I'm sure he was ill-intentioned. And we all know the only thing worse than butter-flavored Pam to the eyes: olive oil-flavored Pam to the eyes.

At least he wasn't as bad as he could have been?

Phormerly Phred said...

That's pretty good stuff. I'll be back.