The Ski Mask Paradox

They should fix ski masks so that crooks can't use them anymore. If ski masks didn’t conceal a person’s identity, then they wouldn’t be used by the crooks so much. But if they didn’t cover a person’s entire face, then people would get cold faces while skiing. And since they cover a person’s face, they conceal their identity. Thus, they are often used by crooks who don’t want people to know who they are. Do you see the problem here? So much for easy fixes in this world!

Apprehend That Man!

Whenever I hear a car alarm go off, or that department store stolen goods alarm starts beeping, then I scream at the top of my lungs, "THIEF! THHHHHHHIIIIEEEFFFF! Everyone, there is a thief!!!!" So far, I've only gotten ugly stares from people who have accidentally bumped into a parked car or left the security tag on clothing they just bought, but one day I will be right. And on that day, I better be getting a good citizen medal or something.