Lame Duck

Let's talk about lame ducks. I think that a crippled duck would be offended that humans throw around his condition so lightly. And besides that, the term doesn't really make sense. A human lame duck is someone who will be out of power in the near future. A literal lame duck is currently powerless to walk. Who knows, he may even heal up in the future, making him the opposite of a human lame duck. Of course, if the lame duck metaphor is using the word "lame" to mean something that sucks, then I wouldn't feel guilty about the metaphor anymore, since ducks who suck deserve none of my pity. Just like people who suck.

Not the Bees!

The death of a bee by the loss of stinger is one of the most bittersweet in nature. Death is cold and dark, but they die knowing they protected their queen. They are at peace. That is why I like to whisper to bees that stung me, "I am still up and running, and I am going to kill your queen and steal your honey." Bees that sting me don't deserve tranquility on their death beds. Stings hurt.

Born To Roam

According to this article, wolf hunting is now legal in America. Awesome, I no longer have to hide my hobby! If only wolf fighting were also legalized, illegal activities would only occupy 45% of my free time. I really want to get back down to 45%. I feel like anything above that is setting a bad example.

Rats

Companies always test products on rats to see if the products are toxic. If the thing makes the rats hair fall out or gives them cancer, then the product is not going to make it to the human market. I think a pretty interesting side effect of this is that if humans go through a mass extinction due to some new food or perfume that is deadly to humans but was safe for rats, the rats will still be able to eat our dead bodies with no ill effect. Because after all, we never put anything in our bodies that would hurt a rat. While it might kill vultures or ants or the other things that normally scavenge on dead meat, the rats won't even lose hair or develop skin rashes from the poison. I'll bet rats get really excited by this possibility. Patience, rats, patience.

A Special Thanksgiving Thought

You know, this last Thursday I was thinking of all the things I am thankful for. So I got to thinking about venomous snakes. Did you know that the venom of a baby snake is tons more potent than the venom of a full grown snake? Isn't that something else? It's an enhanced defense mechanism or whatever. Anyway, I am thankful that human babies aren't incredibly venomous. Can you imagine how dangerous they would be? Who would want to take care of them? And boy, breast feeding would be twice as dangerous! Nothing is healthier for a young baby than mother's milk. I imagine if their children were venomous, quite a few ladies would pass on the breast feeding thing. So I am thankful that the human race doesn't produce venomous children.

Me vs Mosquitoes

I have been outdoors a bunch the past few days, and I have about 15 mosquito bites. Despite this, in the overall War for my Blood with the mosquitoes, I think I am still winning. I have a ton of blood left in the ole tank. However, I am losing badly in the War to Make Each Other Itch.