Lawnmower Man

When mowing the lawn, sometimes I feel like a jerk for trying to hold to the property line so tightly. Why not help the guy next door and mow his lawn a little here and there? So last week I purposefully broke the straight line and randomly mowed his side. I thought it proved I wasn't such a stickler for this whole "property line" thing, and it also made my neighbor's job easier next time he mowed. He could skip those patches I hit if he wanted to. Well, my neighbor must be some kind of psycho, because he came out yelling at me and telling me to stay in my own yard. So unappreciative. The guy must be territorial I guess. He needs to be on some kind of medication or something.

But seriously, can you imagine the nerve of that guy to yell at me just for veering out of my yard from time to time to mow spots on his lawn? And then he yelled at me a second time just because I continued to do it immediately after he finished yelling the first time. I guess I thought once he saw how resiliently nice I was, he would change his mind on the issue, so I continued veering. But you know what? In the end, I am glad I mowed it that way, because it helped reveal what a quack my neighbor is.

Multi-couple Weddings? Why Not???

Sometime, I really like the way things happen in movies. One thing I love is when more than one couple gets married at a time at the same wedding. Every now and then it just so happens that people are just such good friends that they have to be wed in the same ceremony, as many as three or four couples at a time. I wish I could go to a wedding like that. It would be pretty neat, all the couples looking at each other and laughing and just being the best friends ever. The minister would say something cute like, "You may now kiss... the brides!" and throw his hands up in the air while smiling, basically thinking to himself that this is crazy, but boy is it fun! I just wish that happened more in real life. Oh well.

Pour Some Sugar

You know those people who take pride in not adding sugar or creamer to their coffee? Who the heck do they think they are? Why is this considered a badge of honor to them?

Oooooo, you are so bad. You don't need any sugar or creamer. How bitter it must taste! But you don't care because you are so tough! I'll bet you sleep on a bed of nails at night, don't you?

Just stop acting like you are more of a man than me because you don't add sugar to coffee. There is nothing unmanly about sugar. Sugar tastes great. In fact, judging by how much larger you are than me, I am guessing you too enjoy sugar via other means than coffee. So just wipe that haughty look off your face and drink your coffee and don't think you are better than me because you don't need sugar and creamer. Got it?