Domino's Receipt

When I pick up my pizza at the nearby Dominoes, they do something crazy with my credit card receipt. I sign the white copy, and it does that thing where it also signs the yellow copy underneath. You would think the customer would get the yellow copy, wouldn't you? Wrong. The person is always all like, "No, you keep the white one." Why do I need the white one with my real signature? That's the one you need, lady! I know what my signature looks like. I can give myself an autograph at anytime. I will never be in need of my own original signature. I will never take some document to the courthouse and be told, "Wait, you need to sign this," and then freak out because I don't have my signature on me. I can make a new one. I won't say, "CRAP! I left my signature at Dominoes! Just hold on and let me go get it!"

So Dominoes, really, just take the white copy like everyone else. Okay?

Broad Daylight

You normally hear the term "broad daylight" when something bad has happened. You know, like, "An elderly woman in a Kroger parking lot was slapped in the face and sprayed with butter flavored Pam in her eyes by a teenage assailant in broad daylight today." I don't think this is fair. It gives broad daylight a bad reputation. You know, a lot of good things happen in broad daylight, too. For example: I watered my plants in broad daylight last week. I hugged a child in broad daylight yesterday. I ran over a teenager with my car in broad daylight today, and I am pretty sure he is dead.

Now, I know what you are thinking: running over and killing a teenager is a bad thing that is more in line with the regular usage of "broad daylight." Well, this kid was holding a spray can of Pam, and I am pretty sure he is the one who assailed that old lady. I was a representative of justice today, and if that's not good then I don't know what is.

More Arguing Tips

A good line to use when arguing, even when it is not true, is "You just made my point." This statement is very frustrating and disconcerting to the other arguer.

Me vs Mosquitoes

I have been outdoors a bunch the past few days, and I have about 15 mosquito bites. Despite this, in the overall War for my Blood with the mosquitoes, I think I am still winning. I have a ton of blood left in the ole tank. However, I am losing badly in the War to Make Each Other Itch.