Bugs Up On Me

If bugs knew how many of their brethren I have already killed, then they would probably stop landing and crawling on me. Of course, they will never know, because who is going to tell them? The dead bugs I have already killed? No, not them. They are dead now.

A True Story

I used to work as a painter. One time I painted an entire house with clown makeup as a joke. I thought it wouldn't last, but it turned out to be the most durable paint job I had ever done. What house exactly did I paint with clown makeup you ask? Well my friends, it was none other than Buckingham Palace. It just goes to show you that sometimes things work out.